A Teen's Life: Expectations

Who has expectations of you? Parents, teachers, friends, God and yourself are just a few examples of who has expectations of you.

What does God expect of you? To read the Bible? Be the best that you can be? To look to Him for help and guidance? Those are some things He would like of you. God would really like you to have a relationship with His Son, Jesus.

Have your expectations changed from when you were a kid? Yes, of course. more is expected of you as you get older and are able to do more. You'll also start to get a new set of expectations. Expectations help you grow. Without expectations from parents, teachers, God and yourself, there will be less chance for change and growth.

It is up to you to decide which expectations to follow. When you take the time to pray to God, He will guide you in making the right choices.

A Teen's Life: Change

 

What thing have changed as you have gotten older?

puberty, mature, style, school (grades, districts, activities, college), friends/relationships, responsibilities.

Change happens from when you are born til you die.

You want freedom from your parents, but your parents have a hard time giving you more freedoms.

 

Dating changes: definitions of the relationship change.

 

Change is stressful. Change can be good or bad, but either way, it affects us.

 

It's important to learn how to deal with change. Take the time to deal with stress that comes with change. Do it the right way.

Church isn't just worship. It's a big part, but that's not all. God can be the constant, unchanging thing in your life.

 

When you are dealing with change, find a leader, parent, talk to God to help you deal with it.

ROC the Day 2013

We hope that you are able to join us and donate to TurningPoint Youth Ministries, Parma Christian Fellowship Church and Parma Free Center Nursery School as part of the 3rd Annual ROC the Day!

We have spent the last 20+ years helping those in our community, and with your help, we can continue to help members of our community. You are free to donate any amount, so please consider donating even just $1, and encourage your friends and family members to donate $1, especially if they have been impacted by our support.

We appreciate your prayers and support!

"Words"

We are building off of what we discussed last week, the importance of taming your tongue. The questions we talk about are based off of the ones from Student Ministry.

1. What's the most common remark you make to others that may not be very Christ-like? Cursing, put-downs, pressure/threats, black mail, sarcasm, sexual jokes
2. How does that make you feel when you say them? We got quite a mix of answers: bad, better, guilty, good, regret, happy.
3. How does it make you feel when those remarks are said to you? Sad, upset, horrible, mad. It's obvious that we don't like being told non-Christ-like words, yet we still tend to say them to other people.
4. Are you more likely to say mean things to others when you are with others and why? Yes, because you are putting on a facade for other people, trying to look "cool".
5. When you put others down, are you the bigger person? Our teens answered that it "depends". They feel like the bigger person when they are venting their feelings to others.
6. When person A calmly puts down person B, but person B retaliates, who really wins that situation? No one-they are both on the same level.

There are many ways to vent to other people that does not involve remarks that are not Christ-like. You will never be the bigger person if you "vent" using hurtful and ugly words. No one likes hearing those words said to them, so we shouldn't be quick to say them to other people. "Say only what helps, each word a gift" (Ephesians 4:29, MSG).

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
~Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

Words
Hawk Nelson

They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king

They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
(Speak over the fear)
God, Your voice is the only thing
We need to hear
(We need to hear)

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of Your grace
(Sound like Your grace)
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

I wanna speak Your love
Not just another noise
Oh, I wanna be Your light
I wanna be Your voice

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of Your grace
(Sound like Your grace)
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out

I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Taming the Tongue

We found a great message from Student Ministry about Taming the Tongue.

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. ³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
~James 3 (NIV)

The 3 illustrations in that passage are:

• Horses: a very powerful animal controlled by a small piece of metal in their mouth
• Ships: Huge, important vehicles, but useless without a rudder, which directs the ship.
• Fire: Not much of anything, but has the capability of creating a large and dangerous fire.

What you choose to put into your body effects what your body looks like. Your words show and affect how you live your life. If you curse, boast, slander others, and use other negative words, it shows that you are trying to hurt others. The issue is the fact that you don't choose your words wisely. When you don't choose your words wisely, you fall out of favor with God.

Choose your words wisely, whether in person or online. The negative things we say about other people can have a great impact on them. Even side comments and jokes that are said may not mean any harm, but many times, it makes a deep impact on them. There's a saying: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can hurt forever. Your jokes and insignificant words can be so hurtful to others!

{Source}

A couple other versions of the James passage:

^5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.
~James 3 (MSG)

 ² Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. ³ We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. ⁴ And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. ⁵ In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. ⁶ And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
~James 3 (NLT)

Sticks & Stones Poem:
Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones...
But Words Can Hurt Forever

Bruises heal and bones can mend,
But feelings will not ever,

Sticks fail and stones may miss
But well aimed words will never

How to Have a Relationship with God

Last week, we talked about how to avoid sin, and said that when we sin, we don't have to repent quickly because our relationship with God is very important.

Having a relationship with God is very similar to having a relationship with a human being.

When you begin a relationship with someone, how do you do it? Usually, you'll get to know that person. You'll talk to them more frequently and spend more time with them.

You'll generally like or dislike things about each other, agree or disagree about things, and other common issues you can experience in relationship. If something goes wrong, you generally work on the problem. It's a give and take, and you work at the relationship.

When you're in a relationship with God, it's the same thing: You'll like or dislike things about each other, agree or disagree on things. It's a give and take, and you need to stick with Him, and you work at the relationship. You will get mad at Him, but He won't get mad at you. He won't be happy with your decisions, but He's understanding.

You show what your relationship with God is by your actions. If you do not have a relationship with God, you make decisions based on the world. You do things that feel good in the moment, to have a good time, and that are self-centered. If you do have a relationship with God, you make decisions based on what God wants for you.

When you have the Holy Spirit in you, it will change your life. When you have the Holy Spirit and a relationship with God, you show the fruit of the spirit in your life. If you have no relationship with God, you do not show the fruit of the spirit. It is possible to believe in God, but not have a relationship with Him and not have the Holy Spirit in you. If this is the case, you are not following His ways. If you have a relationship with God, your decisions and actions should show the fruit of the spirit and God's law and love. If your actions don't, then you don't have a relationship.

Building a relationship does not happen overnight. It is not an easy relationship to work on, and it can be hard to have a relationship with God in your current home situation. You need to make a conscious decision to not want what your current situation is, and change your ways. It does not have to stay the same.

Do you remember the 7 Words of the Gospel from FCWC?

You need to make a choice to follow Him. It is no one else's choice but yours.Your decision will change your life. Your life has to change if you follow God. You should be fellowshiping with other Christians, your actions should be different.

God always has His foot in the door. He is always there for you, and will be there for you when you make your decision to follow Him.

Temptation

Temptation: the fact or state of being tempted, especially to evil.
Tempted: to entice or allure, to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral.
Repentance: deep sorrow, compunction for a past sin, wrong doing, or the like.
Compunction: feeling of uneasiness or anxiety of the conscience caused by regret for doing wrong or causing pain.

Temptation is something that everyone faces, and everyone will continue to face. It can take a lifetime, but we can learn how to avoid temptation.

1. Recognize your tendency toward sin: Be aware of what your most common sins are, or what things you tend to sin with. Recognize that you will be tempted, and be prepared. ^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. ⁹ Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. ¹⁰ But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. ¹¹ For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
   ¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. ¹³ When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴ but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. ¹⁶ Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ¹⁸ He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created." ~James 1 (NIV)
2. Run away from the temptaion: After we recognize what tempts us, we need to run away from that temptation. Now, we have to want to run away and get it out of our lives, but keeping it out of our lives as best we can is the only way to avoid that temptation. "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
3. Resist with the Word of truth: You can't resist temptation without knowing the truth, so spend time regularly reading the bible. If you regularly read the bible, you are better prepared to fight off temptation. "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." ~Hebrews 4:12 (NIV) We have a weapon that we can use to fight off our sins! "⁴ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." ~2 Corinthians 10 (NIV)
4. Refocus with praise: It's hard to focus on your sins when you are praising God. Praising God takes your focus off of yourself and others, and puts it on God. No one is strong enough to fight temptation alone, but when you focus on God, He will give you the strength to walk away. There are many great praises to God in the bible (as we use the Word to fight off temptation), but check out Psalm 147.
5. Repent when you fail: You will sin. Everyone will sin. It's important to remember that when we do fall to temptation, that we ask for forgiveness of our sins. We need to continual repent (not necessarily quickly, that's where a relationship with God comes in) when we sin.

Sins are all on the same level. Some common sins that you struggle with could be what was talked about at FCWC. It is important to follow these steps when you are tempted with anything. This is one way that you can work on a relationship with God, which we'll talk about next week.